12.10.2004

"Welcome to my DRUNK world..."
What a crazy night it has been. Instead of drunk dialing you poor unfortunate souls, I've decided to post drunk. Tonight we had a SteerCo "social" (aka...get drunk). We started off the night with a white elephant gift exchange. I ended up with the best present EVER...I got the DVD "Rudy," which happens to be one of my all-time favortie movies. After the gift exchange they told us to all gather up and the directors told us our committees for SteerCo. I really wanted to be on the service committee and it turns out that's what I'm on. I'm so totally excited because we have an awesome group...me, Megan, Jamie and Phinney are going to be the best SteerCo group ever. After we were assigned our grous, the directors gave us each a task. Ours was to finish a 5th of vodka. No biggie...each group was assigned a different alcoholic beverage and guess who finished their bottle first???? The SERVICE COMMITTEE!!!! Yeah service! Because we were the first to finsh our bottle, our "Prize" was that we were the first group that got to be dropped off at Harpo's. So, after 2 beers, and 1/4 of a 5th of vodka, I went to Harpo's and drank some more. Good times were had by all, and I'm very glad that I went.

Funny story for all of this...I told myself that I was only going to stay at the meeting for an h our and thenn I was going to study for the GRE tonight...ha...there goes that idea. Goood night everyone!

12.07.2004

I may fail on purpose
Right now I envy all of those people who aren't graduating in May and who get to stick around here for one more semester, if not more. At the end of this week, after I take 3 tests, turn in 3 papers and perform a 7-10 minute skit in French, I have to take the Psych GRE on Saturday and then the General GRE next Monday. Ideally I would have liked to prepare for these tests because they somewhat determine my future, but one of my applications is due the 15th and so the test taking cannot wait. This past Saturday I did spend a majority of my day reviewing my general psych book and a GRE prep book, but I feel like I still have a lot of work to do. I'm a horrible standardized test taker and so I need all the preparation that I can get. While I would love to do well on these tests, I think I'll be okay with it if I fail them miserably. Failure will ultimately give me more time to figure out where I want go and what I want to do after I graduate from this fine institution of higher learning (ha, ha). While I think I have a pretty good grasp on my future plans, I still can't figure out if they are my plans or my mom's, which she has so slyly embedded within me. I think that if I had a few months after I graduated to sort everything out without school, I would be better able to assess what the next step should be. There are so many possibilities and I have no attachments right now, so why not do what I want and worry about the rest later.

Oh, that would be nice, but instead I have 2 standardized tests to keep me occupied...

12.05.2004

This just got more interesting
Tonight it was brought to my attention that the button at the top of the screen that says, "next blog," allows you to move on and read someone else's blog. I've noticed the list of about 10 blogs that always appear on the main page of Blogger when you go to the homepage, but I've always wondered how you read other, random blogs. I think that it's extremely interesting to read what other people write about because a lot of people are very open and really use their blog as a daily journal.

Here are a few examples of what I read tonight...There was a woman who was probably about 30 who was using her blog to chronicle her weight loss. Openly she shared her successes and failures, along with pictures of her progress. In the past 8 months she's lost over 50 pounds, which I think is an amazing accomplishment. Another blog was of a guy in his 20's who was battling with the idea of asking a girl out and worrying about whether they were already too close of friends or if there was still a chance for a relationship between him and this girl. He also talked about studying in coffee shops and trying to feel hip by keeping up to date on the latest music trends. Finally there was a girl who was using her blog as a space to write short stories. Each entry was something new and ranged from life in a big city, to romantic dates and office drama.

I find all of this so fascinating for many reasons. First, I find it admirable that people can share their thoughts so freely. I'm always conscious of who reads this thing when I write and so I tend not to make it too personal, which I think in turn prevents me from fully expressing myself. I admire those who just say what they are thinking without caring about anyone else. Also, I think it's intriguing that we all somehow manage to write about the same things. In this early 20's stage of my life, I'm trying to balance so many things and it's very comforting to know that there is a 20-something somewhere else in the world who is writing about the same types of issues. It makes me feel normal. So, thank you weight loss woman, guy in Wisconsin and short story lady for allowing me to look into your world and read what you have to say.

12.03.2004

Why do we try so hard?
I've had this conversation with several people in the last couple of days and I can't get it out of my head, so I thought that I would share it with you all (and by you all, I mean all five of you that read this thing, but here goes anyway...).

Question #1- Why do we try so hard to get some people to like us?
Question #2- Why does it bother us so much when we think others are mad at us?
Question #3- Why are we so concerned about who we are friends with?

The whole Facebook phenomena really captures this whole complex I think. Right off the bat it wants you to add friends. Then, there's the dilemma of who you should ask to "be your friend." Should it be only those you are truly friends with? People who you know through clubs or classes? People who you went to high school with, but haven't talked to in 3 years? And then, why does it keep track of how many people you are friends with? What a downer to see that "so and so is friends with 5 people at such and such university." And then you go and look at someone else's profile who has 582 friends. Does the number of people one knows really determine how important/worthy someone is? Ideally, I would like to say no, it doesn't. But, I have a suspicion that people somehow judge you on who you know.

As to question #2, I recently pushed the wrong button while joking around with someone and really pissed them off. This person is not someone who I have a strong friendship with, but for some reason, I'm bothered by the fact that I made them mad. I was really only joking, but I guess it was taken the wrong way and now I feel like a horrible person. Perhaps I cross the line sometimes when I'm joking around, but how am I supposed to know where that line is with every person I talk to? I guess I should realize that not everyone can take a joke and that I should be more sensitive to that, but at the same time, why should I have to change my personality to please someone else? I think that we as humans have this desire to want people to like us, but sometimes I think that people get too hung up on that and stop being real so that others will like them. Does that make sense? I think it does...I had this whole idea in my head and now I can't express it fully. I think that means I should go to bed...good night!